Boomerang retrospect

Currently I'm in Purgatory sitting things out and washing away my sins, and the foolishness that I have had over my head for awhile. I have had nothing, but personal anguish that has dominated my soul for the past few years. I have been eaten away day by day and have had every bit of eloquence, articulation, and wit driven out of my spirit. I guess that maybe it's the issue with my surroundings creating the null and void enviroment that saps my strength and ambition that I had before (gotta work on that proposal). If you are not embraced with the right amount of affection, why do you wittle your mind away with cheap diversions until even the slightest amount of resonance from them is erased out yourself (whatever one of those are). Everyone wants to be with someone whether it is at a max or min state.

I should have seen it before, and understood long time ago. But instead so mired in my own cerebral muck, I didn't pay much attention to the transformation or domesticated complacency that is created from a union of comfort. I have been there before, and how sweet every moment in that bubble of emotional warmth. It is an Aegis to the worlds bullshit. How amazing is that? And in doing so it gives you a feeling of perhaps there is more to this than you were getting before from this world. And maybe everything that you used know, was a waste. However after awhile you want to evade the enveloped warmth. It leaves you muggy and breathless for a while.

It used to be fun and progressive. However my fire inside has been retarded to only a puny flame. Redundancy has become my Emperor, and apathy the empire. It's kind of sad how everything has become. I spit at the digression, but my tongue is dry. I wasted saliva on things that have no point, only due to the fear of drowning in it. Like a dinghy that has popped a hole, the water must be constantly poured out, or I will sink. My diversions used to be tools for me. What happened? the Leviathan of mundanity swallowed me with itself. Now I am only a cliched tragedy, and I am not pleased with it. Build yrself.

Peace.